A New Beginning
Spring is the perfect time to begin a new chapter for mental health, and research supports this. As humans, we are far more connected with the seasonal changes in nature than we realize. Cultivating a Beginner’s Mind, we can practice releasing our burdens into the past, and starting fresh each day as the weather warms. And this creates the perfect opening for a Spring Bloom in Ourselves.
The Epidemic of Narcissism
Narcissists use others to carry disavowed, unwanted aspects of themselves. Underneath, they feel extremely insecure and fragile. So, they project that insecurity and fragility onto others and see others as fragile and weak, so they can see themselves as strong and superior.
Unfortunately, our society has enabled and even encouraged this type of behavior. Hierarchical competition encourages dominance, which lends itself to narcissism as a way of getting ahead. Social media feeds on the cancellation of others in favor of the promotion and aggrandizement of oneself.
Awareness and action are the only ways to stop this sort of behavior. Setting firm and clear boundaries with narcissists. Stating to them the impact of their actions on you, and not engaging with them at all when they don’t respect your boundaries. There is nothing glamorous at all, despite popular culture, about being a narcissist.
Channel Your Emotions Through Music
Modern psychoanalytic writers such as Lombardi have pointed out that channeling your emotions through music is a powerful way to access and release “cut-off” emotions from traumatic experiences. We often can’t feel them any other way. This is exactly why those songs that grip us are felt so deeply. We are identifying a channel for what needs to be processed and released. Coupling this with therapy and verbalizing the meaning of these feelings is one of the most powerful modalities we have.
Beginner’s Mind
No matter how miserable previous days have been, we can take each new day and start over completely. Letting go of burdens and stressors. Sleep helps us release them. Bathing has been shown to help renew and start over mentally, not just physically. We can learn from mistakes the previous day and do things differently the following day without judging ourselves harshly. Seeing it this way, each day is an evolution from the previous day. This is how we heal. One day at a time. Patience and commitment.
Scapegoating in Families
When we Identify with someone, whether that person is a family member or otherwise, the possibility of projecting our own negative quality emerges. Say we both are anxious for instance. I could then project my identification with your anxiety on you and say you are the one who is anxious, Not Me. In this way, I use you to get rid of my own anxiety.
I could also say that you are the cause of the family’s problems, Not Me. In this case, Blame and Shame are projected. This happens when a parent acts as though a child bears the same level of responsibility or more than they do for the family well-being, projecting their own parental responsibility onto the child. This happens in families often, and is a major common root childhood cause of mental illness.
Winter Blues Tips
The winter blues are common in the Northeast, as we know all too well. Here are a few ways to help beat them as best as possible:
Light therapy lamps
Making a fire
Exercise
Making sure you stay activated, meaning doing enough activities during the day
Limiting alcohol and other substances, which can make the blues worse
Following the solstice and aligning yourself with nature and the seasons
Socialization- not becoming too isolated
Getting out of the house enough, especially with Telework
Healthy diet- soups are therapeutic in the winter
Listening to music and pleasurable audio series
Letting Go
Certain objects in life become attachments. People, romance, money, fame, prestige. These are traps, ciphoning our energy and keeping us stuck. We have to practice letting go of such attachments. Engaging with life without being slave to fear and desire. Letting go is the secret to freedom of mind and spirit.
Fight Back for Power
Somatic Experiencing tells us that while trauma can freeze us or cause us to retreat, Fighting Back through physical exercise and thus discharging the traumatic energy, can free us and reconstitute our sense of power.
Go With Changes
When something upsetting happens, one of the quickest ways of grounding oneself again is to radically accept and go with the change as quickly as possible in the moment. Fighting and opposing the reality is one of our main sources of suffering.
Become Your Experience
The Empty circle of Zen is a metaphor for the natural spiritual space within yourself, in which you Become your own body mind experience, without attachment to the fears and desires of modern life. That is, you are free of such burdens. This is the reason to practice meditation- Interrupting and freeing yourself from the vicious cycle we spend too much time stuck in.